The Toad, the Hero
By: tmhoblogger (28 May 2009)
The Blonde and I had a rare moment this morning. You know, that moment when someone feels you, and you are happy that they totally get what you are thinking.
The Toad informed us in our team meeting that we were not affected by the redundancies, something the Blonde confirmed yesterday. I say "confirmed" because experience has taught me never to doubt the Blonde's sources, as I have to give it to the girl, she works hard for her money, ehm, sources.
So today, the Toad looked even more pompous and arrogant than usual.
Toad: I have some good news. It hasn't been easy and I have had to fight hard for this but I had a very tough meeting with HR last night and I am happy to tell you that you are not affected by the redundancies.
As alien as the idea of the Toad fighting for anything for me was, his obvious lie was even more pathetic than usual.
The Blonde and I exchanged looks, the Blonde rolled her eyes at me in disbelief, and then smiled very sweetly at the Toad.
Blonde: That is fantastic news Toad. I haven't been sleeping well at all since it was announced but I knew you won't let anything happen to us.
A new wave of respect for the Blonde washed over me. The girl is good. Damn.
Me: That is such a relief, thank you so much.
The Toad stretched his shoulder as if increasing in height as the hero of the moment. His little eyes darted around to the Blonde and I like we were part of his harem. He shifted awkwardly putting his stretched arm over my chair as a waft of stale sweat drifted round. It was his moment and he was determined to milk it for all it was worth.
Toad: Well, it is a very difficult climate to be unemployment and I wasn't going to let that happen to you two. It just means that you both have to continue to work extremely hard, as I tell you, it wasn't an easy battle with HR to keep the team but you girls have worked so hard and deserve it. But don't let me down or give HR any excuse, blah blah blah.
I had fixed a smile on my face and stopped listening to the Toad but was on automatic head nodding duties. Maybe the Blonde is totally right and this is how to get on in the world - smile and nod when you hear bullshit.
And as soon as the meeting was over, and the Toad hurried away as if he actually had any work to do, the smiling Blonde hissed with a frown.
Blonde: X told me this was decided last week and the team was never in any danger. Toad had nothing to do with it any hard meeting with HR. Bollocks. The lying toerag is making out he fought hard for fuck all. Doesn't he half look like a Toad?
I smiled warmly at the Blonde. Perhaps we finally agree on something.
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Comments on this post:
"So Summer you learnt that the blonde is "clever" and perhaps plays up to her hair colour are you sure that she is not a bottle blonde. Since you are now friends, and agree that TOAD looks like one, perhaps u could smile and nod ur head each time she speaks and says something unrealistic. Thanks for the blog, I look forward to the next episode. "
serenebeauty (28 May 2009)
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"Summer? You mistake me for another or is this an attempt to out me? Lol. Thank you for your advice. June cosmo says women should dumb down!"
Tmhoblogger (29 May 2009)
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"sorry no "outing" intended "
serenebeauty (03 June 2009)
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"So where's the next instalment, it's been over a week and need my fix. "
serenebeauty (09 June 2009)
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"Thanks SB, a new one is up but not a happy one I'm afraid. No doubt more on the Blonde and Toad soon."
tmhoblogger (11 June 2009)
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