The Curious Case of the Blonde, the General and Chelsea Football Club
By: tmhoblogger (07 May 2009)
I came into the office yesterday to find the Blonde furiously printing out information about Chelsea footballers.
And naturally, I thought perhaps we had acquired the club as a new client in my absence or perhaps someone closely connected to the club. Given the amount of information she was printing off contrary to our paperless office policy, I was rather curious.
"Is this a new transaction?" I asked passing some of the papers furiously churning from the printer.
"You what?" The Blonde answered back in confusion.
"Sorry, I don't mean to pry but do we have a new transaction with someone connected to Chelsea?" I asked most sincerely without any hint of piss taking because for once, I was not guilty of the aforementioned piss take.
"Oh that. It's the General. We are watching the match this evening and I need to read up on Chelsea as he thinks I am a Chelsea supporter like himself. And I know fuck all about football, let alone Chelsea. Drogba." She ended her sentence with the name of one of the players, pronouncing his name like an exaggerated Drug bar. Nice.
I look at the Blonde confused. Who the hell was the General? In my short absence from the country, have we been taken over by a military dictatorship? Was the General someone that I ought to know? Was he a client? The only General I know is the one chasing after Michael Scofield in Prison Break.
"The General? Is he a new client?"
"Don't be silly. He's my new boyfriend. He is a general. Everyone calls him the General" Duh. The Blonde very proudly informed me that in my two weeks absence from work, she had increased her boyfriend collection.
"He is married. He he." She explained with such pride that I can only assume that in the Blonde's world bagging a married man gives you extra bragging rights.
This morning, Chelsea's latest fan, the Blonde, the ever loving new girlfriend, mistress, lover, bit on the side or whatever she is to her married lover was on the phone consoling her lover who was apparently devastated by Chelsea's loss at the 92nd minute of the game.
"Darling, everyone is talking about it. We was robbed by the referee."
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Comments on this post:
"How desperate can she get and she had the impetus to call you desperate for going on a holiday"
SASHA (11 June 2009)
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"Well said Sasha, thanks."
tmhoblogger (11 June 2009)
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