The Porn Star Audition
By: tmhoblogger (25 March 2009)
The beauty of blogging is that I have chosen to let it all out online. That and of course the balancing act with protecting my identity, and of course the identities of the innocent and shamelessly guilty.
The most difficult thing about maintaining a balance in all of this, is of course the fact that I must always be honest about myself, even when I do not come out in glorious techno-colours.
And so I must write about my shagfest weekend with Smart. He was everything that I expected from him, and much more, a kind, considerate, tender, passionate and highly skilled lover. And as for me, I was a total disaster! Let me explain.
When you get dumped like I was dumped, by the now almost forgotten Ex, following what you thought was amazing sex, which might have been even more amazing because your sex partner knew it was goodbye sex, and did not choose to share that important fact with you, your sex esteem takes some knocking.
So I approached the weekend with the zest of a teachers' pet, ticking off my must do, like the perfect student:
Pussy waxing X
Hair and beauty X
Watch porn movies online for ideas X
But maybe I was too good a student, and of course was very keen to show off all my newly acquired skills and to prove goddamit, that I am a fantastic lover. The Ex might have dumped me unceremoniously after sex, but Smart was going to have the best shag of his life.
Needless to say, my approach was rather OTT, and I ended up as keen as if I was auditioning to be a porn star, mentally waiting for the director to scream;
"C'mon babe – look at the camera in a sexy horny way. Turn around now and moan like you are having the shag of your life."
But the beauty when friends become lovers is being with someone who knows and cares about you well enough to understand your issues. Smart is such a person. He gently and tenderly stopped me from my porn star audition, to relaxed natural love making, and I didn't even know how he did it.
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