Christmas party - sleaze busters!
By: tmhoblogger (21 December 2008)
.jpg)
Sometimes in life things happen that challenge your previous unfavourable impression of people. But of course now and again, events occur where the unfavourable views that you have struggled with, questioned yourself over, debated with your rational and more forgiving inner self, struggled to be the better person, and to make allowances are confirmed beyond all reasonable doubt.
And there it was that on Tuesday, my company's Christmas party, events occurred which confirmed beyond reasonable doubt that the Toad is a despicable little man, and the Blonde, is a slutty evil bitch.
But this story is not all about me, the Toad and the Blonde.
I have two really good friends who work in my company, a guy who I shall call Smart, simply because he is probably the most intelligent person that I have ever had the pleasure of working with, and having as a friend. My other friend I shall call Anna, because she looks a little bit like a slim and sophisticated Anna Nicole Smith, has the most fabulous big boobs, and wild fun personality that fools people into thinking she is just a dumb blonde, until they deal with her and discover her to be one of the shrewdest, smartest up and coming stars in the City.
Smart and Anna keep me sane at work, and whenever things get too much, a quick lunch with them, or a drink after work, have the magical effect of making me feel like I can handle absolutely anything in life.
If I was a normal girl, that is not obsessing about the Ex, or in an alternative universe, I would probably be happily married to Smart. We both joined the company as associates on the same day following our MBA studies. The first day we met, Smart asked me out on a date, and he has never made it any secret that he has deep feelings for me. In the three years I was with the Ex, Smart was the only friend who didn't like the Ex, or perhaps he was the only one who was vocal about his dislike of the Ex. In his views, the Ex wasn't good enough of him. The truth of course is that I was never good enough to go out with the Ex.
Following my break-up with the Ex, Smart and I went out for a meal and he tried a new strategy by declaring that he would stop asking me out on a date. He said he had feelings for me and would probably always have feelings for me. But that he would give me all the time in the world to get over the Ex, grow up, and realise that we were meant to be together. In the meantime, he would have fun. He then spent the rest of the night telling him about his latest girlfriend.
I suppose if a good friend makes it so obvious that they want to be more than friends, the friendship might be a little bit awkward, but there has never been anything like that with Smart. He is the most gentle and kindest man ever, and has a real ability to put everyone at ease. I also went from laughing at him whenever he asked me out, because I thought he was just a big joker to realising that he was serious. But the truth is that whilst I am flattered, after all Smart is intelligent, kind, handsome, and successful (he's probably on a fast track to becoming a director), I value our friendship far too much to mess him around or ruin our friendship by getting into a relationship, knowing that I am still very much in love with the Ex.
And so it was that Smart, Anna and I decided to shower and get dressed for the party in Smart's Barbican flat near work, and then we grabbed a taxi to the plush West London party location.
The Blonde on the other hand made her way to the party with some of her friends in a stretch limo! They had apparently hired a limo because they wanted to arrive in style. As the Blonde informed me, her designer dress deserved to arrive in a limo. She had smirked when I had said I was wearing a simple Karen Millen dress (see picture).
The Christmas meal was as always exquisite. I was put on a table where I didn't know anyone but they all seemed lovely. The director who hosted our table was very gracious and funny and we had a good laugh. In a way, it was lovely to have a chat with work colleagues without being conscious of your guest, and being restricted to inclusive conversations.
Following the sit down dinner, Smart, Anna and I got together to do our favourite things, giggling like school children, crazy dancing and people watching. We observed that the main difference between this year's party and previous years was that with no partners to restrict them, people not only seemed to talk to each other more, but to get drunk even more, and have more fun.
We danced together to all the usual party classics the DJ was pumping out, and we laughed, and had lots of fun in our little group.
And then the Blonde and the Toad made their way to join my friends and I. The Toad looked smart in his tuxedo and his black bow tie, and for once wasn't stinking of booze and sweat. Perhaps he had a shower before the party.
The Blonde was wearing a very expensive and complicated designer monstrosity, some long flowing dress with a long train that looked more in place if you were receiving the best actress award at the Oscars, but rather out of place at a work's Christmas party. But to each her own.
I wouldn't have sought the Blonde and Toad out at the party and I had given them both a little wave at various times during the night and I was quite happy to keep it at that. But I wasn't unhappy when they both came to us, it was Christmas after all, so live and let live, goodwill to all mankind, and all that.
The Toad seemed rather fascinated with my body, fixating initially on my legs. I guess I wear mostly trousers suits for work, so the legs, which I am quite proud of are never that much on display. But having decided that even in his slightly drunken state, it was too odd to keep starring down at my legs, he shifted his glance, and kept looking me up and down in a rather uncomfortable sleazy way, finally settling on my boobs.
"You look very lovely." He stuttered and I gave him a tight little smile and thanked him for the compliment.
Smart and Anna will later laugh that the Toad was starring at me as if I was the only woman alive and he wanted to tear my clothes away and lavish me right there and then. Yuk!
Whilst all this was going on, I had been busy chatting away to everyone and hadn't really looked at the Blonde. But Smart and Anna who never miss a trick later said that the Blonde had kept watching the Toad and I, and that her face had turned from smiling to thunderous like she wanted to kill me or something.
"How are you getting home?" The Toad asked,
"Oh, I'm just grabbing a taxi back." I had replied.
"I have a driver waiting for me. I can drop you off." The Toad had offered, starring at me and at the same time making it obvious this was an invitation for one, and was not being extended to the Blonde or to my friends.
"That's kind, thank you. I've already arranged a taxi." I had replied smoothly.
"It is no problem at all. I can give you a ride to any where you want to go." The Toad had insisted, but something about the way he said the word "ride", and his lecherous looks were making me very uncomfortable. Whilst flirting with the Toad might make my work life easier, I just didn't want to flirt with the man. There is also flirting, and there is being sleazy, and the way his eyes had settled on my body, made me feel like a cheap whore.
"Dance with me." He insisted as I flashed my friends help me please looks and was rewarded with a big bright smile from Smart who seemed to be enjoying my discomfort rather too well.
"Go on, dance with him." Smart had replied with a rather deliciously cheeky smile. I will get you someday soon Smart, I thought.
But before I could say anything, the Toad was leading me to the dance floor as I made pathetic little voices protesting that I didn't really want to dance.
As the Toad led me to the dance floor, the universe conspired to teach me a lesson in life, and at that precise moment, the music changed from a cheesy dance tune, to a slow dance.
And so the Toad held me, with his hand on the small of my back, and the other holding my hand. And as I was forced to do a slow dance with the Toad, his hand seemed to move to groping my bum. I firmly moved his hand away from my bum but he wasn't done with me.
The Toad was pressing into me even harder, and pulling me closer than I cared to be held. I thought I could feel something hard pressing onto me, but I wasn't sure, and I was too embarrassed to look down to check.
"Come home with me." He whispered in a tortured voice as his wandering hand went for my bum again and his other hand without any mistake on my part groped my right breast.
I pulled myself away from his hold, glanced down to see an obvious hard on, and then I had to make a decision. Walk out in the middle of the dance, leave him standing alone with a visible hard-on or avoid making a scene, finish the dance and leave with some dignity. I chose the latter.
"I think you've had a bit too much to drink. You need to cool it." I said in a voice that was firm and intended to make the Toad realise that his advances were unwelcomed. But it had the opposite effect.
"I am not drunk. I am just a man who wants to spend some time alone with a desirable beautiful woman. What is wrong with that?"
"I'm sorry but I have a boyfriend." I blurted out the lie which was the only thing that I could think of to say at that precise moment.
"I thought you broke up with your boyfriend." The Toad whispered, pulling me closer, his hand moving again to my bum.
I removed his hand, pulled away from him and I pointed at Smart and declared,
"I'm in a relationship with Smart."
And that did the trick. The Toad released his grip on me, looked a little bit embarrassed, muttered, "Sorry, I'm always the last to know these things." Like my love life was any of his business, and as the music ended, led me back to my friends and the Blonde.
"Right, I have delivered your girlfriend back safely." The Toad declared to Smart, who had a flash of confusion before smiling and taking my hand rather gallantly.
"Girlfriend? You mean Smart is one of the men you've been dating?" The Blonde said very loudly reminding me of my little lie, as all eyes turned on me.
I shot her a if-looks-could-kill look as she smiled very happily back at me, enjoying her little victory over me.
"What men? I have no clue what you're talking about." I replied with an even more triumphant smile.
"See you guys later. I need a drink." I declared linking my hands with Smart and Anna, and dragging my friends to the free bar.
It was time for a stiff drink and some more crazy dancing with my friends.
Votes: 9 Log in to vote for this item, post a comment or report abuse.
Comments on this post:
"What a slimeball. I love the dress by the way:-)"
summer (23 December 2008)
Votes: 0 Log in to vote or report abuse
"PS. Isn't this sexual harrassment?"
summer (23 December 2008)
Votes: 0 Log in to vote or report abuse
"What a man, I'm looking forward to the day you'll put the blonde in her place"
GROOVY (23 December 2008)
Votes: 0 Log in to vote or report abuse
"Thanks so much Summer and Groovy. Maybe one of my new year resolutions should be as Groovy said, putting the Blonde in her place!"
TMHOblogger (23 December 2008)
Votes: 0 Log in to vote or report abuse
See all posts by tmhoblogger | Back to main TMHO blog page